Its your fault for not  listening when I said

  “No!” & cried “I want to go home! ” & 

It’s your fault I have nightmares & don’t trust men

 & that I’m scared. 

All the time… 

     I push away all my friends who  do care & I treat ‘em like I don’t need ‘em there. But they don’t believe me when they see me cry a thousand times

because you took the trust out of my eye.

  I am blinded by defeat for fucking when I didn’t want to,

 biting my lips to keep my pain inside; when the doorbell rings I find a closet & hide.

 Now I sit indian style & rock my body slightly back & forth

& hum a new song to myself.

   “I am not afraid of the boogeyman anymore”

 “I fall in love with the boogeyman”